Just Married

I got married last night. . . or at least that's what by-standards in the Stadium Terrace parking lot thought this morning as they headed off to work or school. I woke up this morning to find quite a surprise waiting for me in the parking lot. My car was decorated in sticky notes, flowers, and half oreos, all wrapped up in plastic. With a "just married" sign plastered on the hood, it looked like a veritable honeymoon car.

The story goes thus-ly: Last night, for FHE, we had a huge water balloon fight. Due to the fact that I came out on top, a certain person and her accomplice felt it their personal duty to gather together a task force to take out Jeepy. And take out Jeepy they did. So my hat's off to them for that one. They left a few clues, but they go by the name "The Sisterhood." But I have managed to figure out a few of them by the notes and the pictures. I left a little something, something on the window of the ring leader's car. A symbol of sorts, . . . no more of a promise. Let this video be yer warning.

The Swinging Rope to Tears in Terabithia

Okay, I have something to say. And when I have something to say, I usually want to blabber about it till I’m blue in the face. And just as long as the people I’m telling the story to nod their heads, look me in the eye, and give me a few good “mmhmm’s” or “oh yeah’s” like they’re following along, I’m content. Be forewarned, it doesn’t have a lot to do with the point of this blog, but I want to write about this all the same.

Okay, so have you read/watched The Bridge to Terabithia? If you haven’t, stop what you’re doing, go read/watch it, and then come back. Because there is something spoiling in here.

….

Go on, get out of here.

…

For those that stayed tuned in, sit down, strap in, and start mindlessly agreeing with me. I watched the movie for the first time today. I know it’s been out forever, but I still want to talk about it.

Okay, so first of all, there wasn’t a bridge till the very end. What was up with that? I felt a little misled (although you can totally take a metaphoric approach to that and say that the bridge was when they crossed the river and entered Terabithia. Sorry, tangent. I’ll return).

Second of all, I have a love-hate relationship with that movie right now, and I hope you’ll understand why. It’s really sad, but it is so true to life that you can’t help but relate to and love it.

I was COMPLETELY blindsided by the unfortunate event that befell Leslie while Jess went to the art museum. I was in shock when his parents told him the news. It didn’t make sense. I wanted to cry.

What the heck? Leslie and Jess were the best of friends. They had rough moments, but you couldn’t find a better set of friends. They overcame bullies together, kept each other fit by running everywhere they went, and created an entire world with nothing but a few two-by-fours, nails, and a few blankets. They were the two kids down the block that you expected to grow old together, like these guys:

There was no question in my mind that, like Carl and Ellie, they would 1) prepare an adventure book, 2) fix-up the tree house into a permanent home, and 3) plan to visit Paradise Falls together...or something similar.

Until the unthinkable happens, and we lose “Ellie” all over again. I hate it. It’s like a punch in the stomach, a slap in the face. It’s so hard to take, because we’ve learned to love Leslie.

That’s also why I love it though. The relationship and subsequent tragedy is so easy to relate to. You and I have built up extremely close relationships with the people we come to consider our best friends (even if they are rocky friendships to begin with). We push, create with, and share some of our best moments them, propelling us into a friendship that we hope will last forever. Unfortunately, some of these relationships end because of unexpected loss, offense, or distance that pulls these friends apart. Some are shocking and unexpected, while others are drawn out and unnoticed. It’s the shocking ones that affect us the most though, and we’re often left with long-lasting sadness because of it.

Unfortunately, some of these relationships end because of unexpected loss, offense, or distance that pulls these friends apart. Some are shocking and unexpected, while others are drawn out and unnoticed. It’s the shocking ones that affect us the most though, and we’re often left with long-lasting sadness because of it.

The Bridge to Terabithia was one of those shocking ones that reminded me that the people I grow to love can be torn away from me in an instant, at any given time. What a scary thought that is. It’s so scary that I refuse to ever let myself think about it. That doesn’t mean it couldn’t. I virtually experienced that along with Jess as Leslie was taken away and served as a sad reminder to take advantage of every moment you have with those that you’re close with.

I am reminded of this in other movies as well. Like when Frodo leaves Sam behind in the Lord of the Rings, the crew leaves the apartment behind in Friends, Marley dies in Marley & Me, and Gerry virtually dies a second time in P.S. I Love You. I’ve been heard to say that I hate when stories end, and I think that the reason I hate them so much is because I feel like I lose the new friends that I’ve gained through the stories. A lot of them I’ll never see again, and it leaves me empty and sad for the loss.

Let me know what you think. Do you run into the same issues?

P.S. A lot of these links are random association that I had while writing this.

Courage

A story is told .... that a college student was once assigned to write a 10 page term paper on an ancient Roman value. The point of the paper was to show the professor that they understood the value completely, by giving definitions and examples. This student chose courage as his topic and wrote his paper. The due date came, he turned his assignment in and hoped for the best. Later, his professor was astonished when he found his paper. There were just five words: the first and last name of the student and one sentence that read, "This is courage." 10 blank pages followed.

If only college were really that easy. I've been there. It's not! Writing 4 page papers (4 full pages) at 10 when the paper is do at 12... been there, done that, so over it.

Putting that aside, I think this story makes a good point. This student obviously understands what courage means. Turning in a blank assignment is committing GPA suicide. The average student would rather gable on about nonsense and get at least something, then turn in virtually nothing and risk a 0. No one would dare do it. Teachers know this too, and they suffer through the bad ones to give a student at least some credit. But coming across ten empty pages carefully stacked and stapled together must have shocked him, to say the least, for two reasons:

1) This student broke the cardinal rule of at least writing 10 pages of crap, and
2) he risked his entire grade on just five words, five words that were read in 2 seconds but generated enough respect that he passed with flying colors. That risk alone showed the teacher that he understood what it meant to be courageous.

I do not know if this story is true, but it is an example of courage none-the-less.

Courage comes in many forms: a courage to fight; a courage to stand down; a courage to defend the things you believe, at the chance of ridicule; and a courage to do hard things, at the prospect of certain failure.

Talk with an entrepreneur or a new business owner, and you'll find a person who now lives their life by courage. Consider first what it might be like to quit everything. Leave behind a financially secure job that pays the bills and builds your savings. Then consider pursuing a dream with nothing but the money in your bank account and a few people crazy enough to believe in your vision. I used to wonder why people do it? I think I've found the answer. They've found something that they love. They love it because it is either 1) their passion, or 2) not working for someone else.  Most people don't have the courage to take that step. Unfortunately, some don't even have the courage to find a career in their passion. Larry Smith thinks that this will make most people fail to have a great career.

C.S. Lewis said, "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." It is difficult to live a life consistent with our beliefs (whether they be moral, religious, secular, or a combination of them all), and everyone's virtues will be tested. For every person that believes that it is wrong to steal, they will be faced with a situation where it will seem the only thing to do. Every person that believes it wrong to have an abortion will will be confronted about their belief. And every person that believes in God will feel like they are left alone in their toughest trials.

Courage is the ability to stand up for what you believe in, in these situations. Do the right think and don't look back. A courageous person doesn't believe in the phrase, "I can't." They may have said it, but they don't really believe it. If you ask them if they've done something hard, they might say, "Not yet, but thanks for the idea!"

So next time you think you can't do something, ask yourself first, am I just too scared to do it? If you are, then reconsider how great it would be to accomplish it, then have the courage to do it.

P.S.A lesson on courage is touched upon in Veronica Roth's book Divergence. It is a very good book that I can only describe as Hunger Games-esque, with a dash of addicting.

Discerning Good

I strive to find a balance between doing good on my own accord, doing good based on Spiritual promptings, and ignoring temptations from the adversary. It’s a hard and confusing battle at times, because both sides fight equally hard to be heard. The trouble is, they all sound like me. The Lord speaks to us in our own language and temptations come through our thoughts. Funny huh? It’s hard to discern voices at times. Sometimes it affects the way others look at me I swear. If I get a small prompting to take an alternative route when driving, I will often war with myself if it was a real prompting and will spend some time pulling “U-es” until I finally get frustrated and just move on. I wish I could tell in an instant what I need to do. This is my first step in learning how to discern inspiration better.

It starts with a scripture I read in Moroni. “The Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.”

This scripture is simple, yet incredibly helpful. It confirms first that there are really only two outside influences vying for our attention. The first is God, and he will only tell you to do things that persuade you to do good, or believe in Christ. The second is the adversary, and he pretty much covers everything else. The trick is, when an idea comes, we need to be able to recognize what influence that idea has over us. Will it entice us to do what we know is right? Or will it entice us to do evil? (or are we not sure). The best way to know in these circumstances is to have a firm testimony of the gospel combined with intelligent scripture study.

With a testimony, you can feel the influence of the Spirit stronger in your life. He is more recognizable to you because you are familiar with his presence.

With intelligent scripture study—by that I mean scripture study where you actually pay attention with a desire to learn—you get to know God, and everything he expects from you. When you clearly understand what he expects from you, you can discern more quickly the Spirit’s guiding hand over Satan’s.

Could I have helped someone out if I had just followed the prompting? Yes, I very well could have. I didn’t though, so I’ll never know. The only thing I can do now is put those experiences behind me and move on.

Often we want to remember the pain of missed opportunities in the vein of reminding ourselves to never do that again. If you do this though, you end up beating yourself up so much that you become helpless when you are needed to help someone else the most. Trust me, you won’t forget your mistakes, let them go when you can and prepare yourself for the next opportunity. It’s the only way to truly learn from them.

Tell Me You Can't...

... after watching what this guy did in his late 50s!

I'm sure you've seen this video before, but it is a truly inspiring tale that I think needs reminding. Ignore the pixilation in this low quality video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kt7w8hV90SI

If that doesn't give you inspiration, I don't know what can. Most think they can't run farther than a mile, let alone try to swim one, or bike two. Imagine trying to do an Iron Man (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and then run a marathon); then try doing double the work as you bring someone else along. That's an unconquerable spirit if I've ever heard of one.

I like to wonder how much faster he could complete it without the extra weight. My competitive drive begs and pleads him to try it, just to see how much better he would do. He'd probably blow most of his competitors out of the water, literally.

I highly doubt he wonders that though. I don't think he would ever consider it. He does it to spend time with his son. His motivation was to take his son to new heights, not to see what he could do alone. He helped his paraplegic son accomplish something he never thought he could. And his son loves it. If you watch closely, you can see him waving his arm in the wheel chair and moving his feet, like he's running too, while in his father's arms.

When I think to myself that I have too much on my plate, that I can't possibly accomplish what I'm hoping to, I think back to this man. I wonder what it must have been like for him to get up every morning and train twice as long and twice as hard as anyone else who competed against him in one of the most physically demanding races in the world. What a trial of will. Shows what you can accomplish though with a firm resolve and a hopeful attitude.

If you're interested in seeing what it takes to train for an Iron Man, check out my friend (Kristopher's) blog. http://actthedream.blogspot.com/. He's currently training for an Iron Man and is using this blog to hold himself accountable for his training. Help him stay accountable by leaving an appropriate comment or two if you already know him. Kristopher has been my motivation to do hard things (including my masochistic running habits) over the past few years. He has taught me to push myself to my potential in every aspect of my life. He truly knows how to work and sets a good example of diligence to everyone he meets. I owe him a thank you for that.

I Can't

I'm sick of my friends telling me that they can't. I'm sick of people saying that we can't. I'm sick of finding this same phrase playing over and over in my head, "I can't..."

My dear sweet mother once posted a little frame featuring a duck trying to hatch an egg twice its size (think a reverse of Dr. Seuss's Thorton the Elephant hatching a tiny egg) with the words "Never Say I Can't" written above the image. When I was young, I thought this was one of those idealistic sayings that didn't actually work. It held no real value because I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't drive a car. I couldn't dunk a basketball. I couldn't even run reach the top shelf of the cupboard where the candy bar was hidden. I was young. I was small. There were a lot of things that just seemed utterly impossible to me.

As I got older, I could drive a car, I could dunk a basketball, if I wanted (I have just never wanted to...yeah), and there wasn't a place my mom could put something that I couldn't get to easily. All of the things that I couldn't do before were suddenly well within my grasp, and all I had to do was grow up a bit ...Funny, huh?

The British Empire was one of the greatest super powers in the 18th century. In a time that defined power by the amount of money you had, the size of your militia (number of people, not bombs), and the number of colonies you ran, Britain was a major contender for the number one spot on the list of world powers. Britain had money, one of the biggest navy's around (something to be proud of for sure), and multiple colonies on every continent in the world. They were powerful. Not someone you would want to mess with.

Now imagine for a moment what it must have been like to be a part of that small group of 56 men who met together and decided to write a declaration to King George III, telling him and one of the biggest military forces of the time to stick it, they were no longer his. Do you think they were scared? Do you think they were tempted to say, "We can't do this"? I'm sure they did say this, when the idea was first muttered in a local bar by a disgruntled drunken Massachusetts man who was just taxed for a shipment of tea he received.

It took some planning, preparation, and a lot of guts, but instead of believing that they couldn't, the signers of the Declaration of Independence, and indeed the militia of the meager 13 colonies of the new United States of America, said, "We can!" . . . and they did. Because of their decision to believe they could, hundreds of thousands now enjoy the liberties they dreamed of ...Lucky, eh?

In one of the most beautiful stories of human civility and worldwide brotherhood that I have ever heard, American and German troops called a cease fire in the days leading up to Christmas during WWI. Troops from both sides were reported to have crossed no mans land during this time to greet, fellowship, and celebrate the joyous season with people who had recently been trying to get the better advantage and kill them for the past several months. These men formed a Christmas brotherhood. They buried their dead together, they sang Christmas songs together, and some were reported to have started up a friendly game of football. Now, for the first guy to put his arm around an enemy soldier and weep with him as he mourned the loss of a dear friend. Do you think that they thought for a moment, "I can't do this. I probably killed this man.  Is it considered treacherous to honor the death of an enemy soldier, to comfort his friend in this time of loss?" Do you think there was moral conflict within that guy? I would say there was. Even so, he still did it anyway and he formed a friendship ...Weird, right?

I think you know where I'm going with this. Every great thing that man has every accomplished has started with an "I can," although to be honest, it was probably preceded with an "I can't," a kick in the rear, and a step forward. Like DC's Green Lantern, we are only limited by the power of our imagination. Things that were previously thought the stuff of fantasy, are now the play things of little children (compare the hand held, touch screen computers in Star Trek to the iPad). The fact is, anything you dream of can be accomplished. You just need to get rid of the contraction, give yourself a kick start, and get moving in the right direction. And when you're tempted to think that "I can't," simply say instead that, "I haven't ...yet."

This is the inspiration for the name and purpose of my blog. My purpose is to lift you up when you're down, to inspire you to do the things you've always wanted to do, but have never done before. The best way to do that is to write about my own experiences battling the "I can't" montra, and get your feedback. There are so many difficult things that I want to do. So many hard things that I'm just not good at. But the desire to do them is there. And in the end, it's not that I can't, it's just that I haven't ...yet.

Here is most of my Ragnar team at the finish line. Each of us, excepting one, thought at some point during this race that we couldn't run another step. But as you can see, we could.